Ramblings: Social Media Fast

4.20.17

**Sometimes I just want to free write. I don’t want to sit down and piece together a concise well-written post. In honoring that, I’ll be doing a new thing “Ramblings” if the title has “Ramblings” in it is most likely a free written stream of consciousness situation.**

I was originally calling my fast a digital detox, but I realized that wasn’t fully accurate because I still watch Netflix, used my phone, and laptop etc. I do, however, avoid all social media with two exceptions, GroupMe and Facebook. I stayed tuned into both out of previous obligations.

I want to tell you what I have experienced thus far in my time away from social media.

For like the first week I instinctively woke up and went to Instagram or Snapchat and had to hurry and close the app. I was like wow, addicted much? Then I realized I started substituting other apps for my normal social media. I was on Pinterest and catching up on blogs here on WordPress. I was trying to find some way to have my phone in my hand. The addiction is so real. Once I realized that I was abusing Pinterest I put it in the little cluster with my other social media apps that I named MRx fast. Then I got on here to type this.

For the past couple of days, I have been incorporating reading into my schedule, instead of social media’ing. I am currently reading this incredible book The Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue books 1-3 by Neale Donald Walsche. I’ll write a separate piece about the book. I’ve also been meditating more and really sitting with myself. I’ve been getting quiet enough to be led to the information that I most need. My life these past couple of days has been nothing short of synchronistic. I kinda just let go of the reigns and let the universe step in, using my feelings as a guide for what’s the next best move. I’ve really kind of shut my mind down and turned my feelings up. It’s new so I’ll have more on it later. I have to share the wealth. When I come up on something like this, I can’t just sit on it. I have to tell about it just in case it helps someone else. I will also be posting about the other side of transition soon. I am still very much in the transition period, and as much as I had realized and learned by the time I wrote Transition, I have learned four times more since then. I will always be updating on the things I know. I am endlessly creating myself and my life and as that happens I must edit and rearrange, and learn and grow. I am fluid, not static and as an extension of me, so is this blog. I’ve finally learned to be okay with that.

This space will be ever growing and ever evolving, I change from piece to piece. I like to look at the most recent post in comparison to the oldest, and see the change. The evolution is tangible. This is the work. Being self-aware, realizing the thoughts habits patterns ideas dreams fears, whatever no longer serves me, and being brave enough to put them down and choose up. I will never allude to this being easy, but I will tell you that it is done with consistency and dedication, and in that way, it does get easier. In that way, I edit my life, little by little and it changes accordingly.

My purpose is in life is to be a living example of the magnificence of The Divine. I cannot save anyone. I cannot heal anyone. I can demonstrate how I saved myself. I can demonstrate how I healed myself. I can hold space for you to save yourself. I can hold space for you to heal yourself. Only you can save yourself. Only you can heal yourself. No one or nothing outside of you can do the work for you. Not Jesus, not your favorite energy healer, not your pastor, not your family, not your spouse, not anyone that is not you.

Don’t get me wrong, these people can be examples, they can show you things and from there you get to decide if it fits, and feels right or not. That’s actually the best way to start practicing self-awareness and begin to edit your life. Look to others see what they have to offer, it’ll feel right or it won’t. Don’t focus on what feels off, take what feels right and keep it pushing. Don’t get stuck here though. Now you need to sit with yourself and see why it feels right? Why? and keep sitting with yourself and keep allowing yourself to experiment and see what feels right and what feels off and dig in and learn you. Observe you, observe others. When you observe yourself, do you see you? Or do you see your mom, your grandmother, your pastor? Are you being authentic? Have you dropped what others expect of you? In my experience, this unfolding has not been easy and at times it is very frightening and unnerving. Having to start all over from scratch. ditching the very principles I’d held on to for most of my life. Some I took on from others some I created based off what I had taken from others. Not much of it authentically me. The work is rewarding though. I found that once I tuned into my authentic vibration, recognizing foreign voices, and energy got easier.  Now I get to be like “hey, that doesn’t feel like me. That didn’t sound like me.” and then I release it, and call it out every time it comes up. I try not to judge it or myself. Bring it to the light and it’ll go away. To really clean it out, really get the conditioning gone, acknowledge it. Embrace it. its part of me and it served me up to a certain point. It is what it is. To run from that, to suppress that, to ignore it, would allow it to grow and continue to rule me. I wouldn’t even know because I’ve told myself it doesn’t exist. But it does.

Shadow work is an essential part of healing. The dark MUST be faced and integrated. The dark is the light and the light is the dark, these things exist in the same space, they are not mutually exclusive. Once I came to terms with that, I accelerated my healing and you can too. You can stop being ashamed of your dark parts and begin to reintegrate them into your being. They are parts of you that need attention and need healing. You cannot heal what you do not acknowledge. I adore my shadow (ego), I practice loving her gently. Sometimes though, I’m not gentle, sometimes I am ashamed and I try to ignore her. Sometimes I beat myself up about her and why she even has to exist. Once I allow myself to feel those feelings, I look at her and I kind of smile, because she is me. She has served me to this point. I send her loving words. I remind her that we are one, I tell her that I do not want to do away with her. I want to love her, I want to be friends with her.

She and I have gotten really close during this social media fast. (wow, way to go all around the world to make a point huh?) I feel very strongly with this social media break, and my recent divorce from refined sugar, that I am at the point of no return. She and I have merged, now we are building our relationship, strengthening it, showing one we can trust the other.

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Transition 

 

“Everything is new. Foreign, but familiar. I no longer have a basis of which to perceive things. I’m building from scratch. The only old truth I can lean on, is that I’ll be okay. I am always okay.” (journal entry, 3/28/17 1:35 am)

I’ve been wanting to put these thoughts into blog form for weeks now. Since before my last post, really. I just couldn’t find the words or the time. Tonight, I seem to have both. Journey with me?

I have been in a state of transition since about December 2016. I am preparing to walk across the stage and move 20+ hours away from my home of the last three years, in May. In the meantime, I’m wrapping up other loose ends and finding out who and what will make it through the transition with me.

Transition is usually not an easy time for me. It goes against all of my control freak habits. In transition I am faced with the truth, I am in control of nothing. Well, I am in control of a couple things, my perception and my response.

Other than those things, I realize that this is the place Osho describes as No-Thingness. Often called The Void. A dark place. Intimidating and scary at first glance, beautiful and full of infinite potential upon the second. It is the darkness of the womb. This is the place that births the galaxies. This is the place where Source resides.

If you’ve read The Other Side of Sunday, you know that I am no stranger to this place.

This time is different, though. Way different.

I am in a different place emotionally, spiritually, and cognitively. My level of awareness and understanding has increased tremendously. Because of the work I’ve done and continue to do, I am left in this space with not much to hold on to.

I cannot look at situations from the past as a comfort for what is to come, all of the things I did and believed before, I no longer do or believe, (or am actively working through those habitual behaviors and beliefs.) All I can do is take solace in the fact that I always end up better than before. I am always okay. I never backtrack, I always choose up, even when it’s not obvious at the time.

2017 has been like a restart of my life. It’s been like waking up for a second time, but this time it’s more real, and more authentic. I’m not clinging to what others deem, spiritual or best practice for conscious living. I’m not reading a bunch of books or looking for a guru.I am creating my life on my terms. Step by step, day by day. Leaning on my intuition and fearlessly following my feelings of what is best for me, according to me.  I am my own guru.

This has not been easy. Not in this space of transition. Not while still having to “daily life” in the meantime. Not while battling the inner voice telling me I don’t know best and warning me not to make a mistake that will wreak havoc in my life. Not while still falling prey to the comparison game. Not while still fighting the urge to seek confirmation from sources I view as more credible than I.

Despite it’s perceived difficulty, it has truly been the most rewarding journey I have ever embarked on. It’s testing my resolve. It’s testing my faith. It’s testing my confidence. It’s making me unpack everything I thought to be true. It’s giving a microphone to those negative inner voices that have been with me since childhood but do not belong to me so that I can clearly distinguish them from my own. It’s making me slow down while simultaneously having to make quick decisions. It’s shaking me to my core, ridding me of all things that cannot leave this period of transition and enter into my new cycle.

There have been so many long-held beliefs and ideas that have been stripped, some I let go on my own, some have been removed forcefully. So many times I’ve cried for what seems like no reason, only to later find out it was a clearing of space. So many times I’ve looked around and mistaken this beautiful place of pure potential for stagnation. I learn so much every day. Every. Day. It’s exhausting and exhilarating.

This transition is transformative.

When this time comes to end, and my new cycle begins, I’ll look back on this time with great reverence. For myself, for the people in my life, for the lessons, the tests, the triumphs, and everything in between. I’ll be grateful that this time has taught me that life is what you perceive. Life is how you respond to those perceptions.

To those in a time of transition, I advise you to be present, feel it all, don’t run away from the unknown, run into it, eyes and heart wide open. Will it be terrifying? No doubt. Will it be worth it? You better believe it.

 

Healing Through Heartbreak

 

Heartbreak. A tangible hurt that you can literally feel in your heart. Or at least that’s the case for me.

Here’s a beam of light, this pain has the potential to serve as the catalyst for life changing, healing, evolution. I’m talking “New Dimension, who dis?” evolution.

Let me pause here and say that this does not have to be the route for everyone. If this does not resonate with you, you may stop here. I encourage you to read everything (literally everything) with an open and discerning heart. If it feels true for you, explore it. If it doesn’t, do not. You are the expert on your life, I am merely sharing what I have learned through the subject I am the expert on, my life.

Heartbreak can manifest in a number of ways. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Your heart can be broken way before you even start dating.

A little about me, I am a recovered(ing) people pleaser. This can be attributed to being a sensitive (Cancer Moon) and intuitive (Pisces Rising) child growing up in a home with a mother that refused to show emotion and affection. I’m talking, I can count the number of times I’ve seen her cry and gotten a hug from her, on the same hand. I am 27 years old. I learned quickly how to do whatever it took to receive some sort of affection or positive attention from my mother. My father broke my heart, and a million promises, very early on. I coped by expecting nothing and giving everything. I did this because although I didn’t expect love, I still held out hope for it. I also never wanted anyone else to experience the rejection I had. Consequently, these experiences led me to do the same with everyone in my life including family, friends, and boyfriends.

Whether it were a legit, “we go together”, (like you asked me to be your girlfriend), situation or a “hey I like you a lot and I like that you kinda do girlfriend things with and for me, but I don’t want a girlfriend, but keep feeding me emotionally and I’ll keep being just nice enough to keep you confused but erring on the this can work side”, (because I know you’ll stay around and work for it), situationship. I was ready to, and I often did become whatever he wanted me to be. Gift and curse of the Pisces rising, I can shape-shift into whatever YOU think I am, regardless of who I really am.

*Thank God for astrology and the mastery of this ability that is now used to my advantage as I consciously shape-shift into the best version of me*

I would morph, and become the girl of their dreams, but only long enough to be sucked dry, and cast aside. I wasn’t being real. Since I wasn’t being real, all my shit broke.

What was real though? My love, my devotion, my empathy, my compassion, most bomb pussy. That was, and still is, real. I gave it because I wanted it in return. That didn’t happen though. Giving it to them wasn’t enough to get it returned. It was never going to be enough because I didn’t really believe I was enough. Growing up feeling perpetually rejected, how could I? I was a good pretender though. My sun is in Sagittarius, I am a hopeful optimist. I lived by the code fake it til you make it. Outside looking in you would have never known I struggled with low self-worth. I know better now. Don’t ever fake it, be authentic and you WILL make it.

When you experience heartbreak, you can tend to shut down and close yourself off, or leap at the chance to give love, in hopes that it will be returned.  I did both. By the time I was in undergrad, I had compartmentalized the heartbreak from my parents in a such a way that I had completely disconnected from them. There was no way to learn from this heartbreak, I ignored it too hard. So how did I learn? Men.

*It may look different for you. You may cling to friends, or seek to help others the way you wish people would help you. You know what your thing is.*

Men were my kryptonite . Much of the love, compassion, time, and care that I was giving to the men I dated, I had neglected to give myself.

No one told me that in order to attract the love I desire I must first embody the qualities that I seek. No one told me that in order to truly love someone else, I must first love myself. No one told me that you don’t go into a relationship seeking to become whole, you go in as a whole and so does your partner. No one told me that suppressing my feelings of inferiority, low self-worth, fear of rejection, etc. in an effort to fake being okay, would cause me to attract emotionally unavailable energy vampires, not only in romantic relationships but platonic as well.

When you are in the state of giving more than you are receiving or giving more than you are equipped to give, the universe will do whatever it takes to get you to realize that there is an imbalance that is causing your energy to be in a deficit. Whether you realize it yet or not, there is a great calling on your life, you honestly would not have incarnated at this time in history if there wasn’t. In order to realize and fulfill this Divine Calling, you must be full. Your energy cannot be in a deficit.

This is why all of the conscious community calls you to “let go” “self-care” “self-love” “vibrate higher” etc. These are all surefire ways to replenish your energy.

When I say energy I do not mean physical energy, although, that too tends to increase by osmosis. I mean your soul energy, the energy that still exists when the lease is up on that body you rented. When you give all of yourself to others and do not take the time to replenish (give back to you) your energy becomes scattered and fragmented.

Conversely, when you begin to pour into yourself via meditation, therapy, energy healing, self-care, self-reflection, self-love, etc. you begin to fill that deficit. Once you are full then and only then can you give from a  pure space, without depleting yourself. You can give with no ulterior motive of getting something because you lack nothing.

Not only do you lack nothing, but YOU gave yourself all that you need, so the only way that can be destroyed is if you destroy it yourself. No more heartbreak at the hands of others!

I liken this to the three little pigs. When you pretend everything is okay, and dismiss or ignore the pain you have been holding, you are building your home (yourself) out of straw and twigs. This home (you) is easily destroyed by the big bad wolf (outside influences). When you get sick and tired of perpetuating the cycle of heartbreak and begin to pour into yourself you take on the role of the third little pig that took his time building a brick home. A home the big bad wolf could never destroy.

It is through the process of healing and building you brick by brick that you begin to remember your purpose. In this process, you begin to hear the Divine Calling on your life. It is in this process that you gain the courage to answer that calling.

Once you begin to operate in the flow of your Divine Calling, life becomes easier. There are still rough patches, don’t get me wrong, but your heart will remain intact. With your heart intact you can do anything. You can make it through anything. You can overcome anything. You can start to attract all of the things. Things that are in direct alignment with your highest good and the highest good of all involved.

So, if you, like me, have experienced a series of heartbreak in your life, do not fret.  Stop running. Stop hiding. Stop pretending. Get real, and get still. Tune-in to you. Meditate. Sing. Cry. Dance. Get out in nature. Spend plenty of time alone. Do whatever it takes. Work relentlessly to build an indestructible you.  You deserve you. You deserve as much of you as you give everyone else. You owe it to yourself to do the work that will allow you to begin to align with and attract people that will take care of your heart.

Don’t let heartbreak harden you, let it motivate you to do the work to heal. The work is not quick. The work is not easy. The work does not look the same for everyone. The work, however, does work. It does change you from the inside out. The work puts your fragmented pieces back together. The work fills you up. The work helps you realize you are whole. The work brings you back to you. It’s time to heal.

You are Love & You are Loved,

Peace & Light,

Liv

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let Go!

“Let Go!”  THE buzzmantra in the Conscious Community. While this IS, in fact, the way to real transformation, I think it’s being promoted in a toxic way. I see a lot of people insisting that we all “let go” but not a lot of people sharing the nitty gritty of letting go.  They make it seem as if it’s as simple as saying “I release ___” and then you’ll be free of that thing, ready to skip off into the sunset.

I can only speak for myself, but when I began my conscious journey and decided to “let go”, it did not happen overnight. I did not wake up and say “I release all that is no longer serving me” and Poof! I was some sovereign liberated being no longer running on the wheel of karma. That is the exact opposite of what I experienced in the beginning, and at times still experience to this day.

What I’ve discovered is that letting go happens in stages. You are literally trying to release years, decades, hell even lifetimes of emotional trauma, conditioning, religious dogma, societal ideals, etc. Not to mention other people’s stuff that one can take on unconsciously. When you begin to work through and unravel these things you can only meet them as far as you’ve met yourself.

For me, when I began letting go, I did not know myself as deeply as I do now, so when I began to work through a block like low self-worth, for example, I could only do what I could handle at the time. So, I would meditate and get to what I understood to be the root cause of the issue, and work my way back forward, gently, reminding myself that I am worthy, immersing myself in self-care, and taking the time to cut energetic cords from what I discovered was no longer serving me. I will tell you the truth, even after all of that, I was not free of the block of low self-worth, I had, however, removed layers of it. Removing layers freed up space. In this space, I was shown other aspects of how low self-worth was still impacting my life.

In the beginning of my journey, I would beat myself up and ask the universe why this was something that I was still dealing with? Hadn’t commanding the release of low self-worth been enough?  Why wasn’t I able to just “let go” like so many in the conscious community instructed? Was I not doing enough? I felt this way because most of the people I viewed as leaders or experts in the conscious community made the process of letting go seem so easy.

As I’ve now come to know, yes it was enough, at that time. Being on a higher frequency, I had to meet that block again, work it from this new angle and chip a little more off of it. It is a cycle. It is a cycle that I am still in. I’ve been chipping at this block for almost 4  years, and the block is significantly smaller, but it would be completely unfair and damaging for me to expect to release a block that was implanted in childhood (or another lifetime, hello?!) and reinforced for 20+ years to be completely gone in 4 years, let alone in one meditation session focusing on releasing blocks.

This cycle is the work. Anytime I say that I am “doing the work” this is what I  mean. It is work. It is a constant unraveling of nearly everything you have known, in order to get to the core you, your pure divine essence.

I do the work, I always do the work, I will never stop doing the work. It is in the process of doing the work that you find yourself. Do not rush the letting go process because it is in this process that you learn the most. Do not rush your healing, no matter what it seems like other people are doing, attracting, manifesting, etc. No matter how many people try to make this journey look easy or like rainbows and sunshine 24/7. Stay the course, take your time, befriend your shadow, welcome the darkness as well as the light, be gentle and know that all things happen in Divine timing.

**Writing this made me realize something about the conscious community that is rarely talked about, spiritual elitism. It happens when one has been on the path for a while and have come to know a significant amount about doing the work, meditation, initiation, alchemy, etc. It happens when you start to ignore the human in you and you begin to speak as if you are “more enlightened” or whatever. It happens when you’ve done so much work you forget how it was when you first “woke up”. It’s how people become cult leaders that are fueled by ego. I see it every day, and in a future blog post, I will be discussing it. I consider myself a member of the conscious community and as such, I feel it important to speak on the topic, as a community, we have to check one another and check ourselves, ya know, before we wreck ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

You are Love and you are Loved,

Peace & Light

Liv

Flow

 

Welcome, February.

I went into this year with the intention of releasing my seemingly unyielding need for perfectionism and control. I was keenly aware of how I was blocking my own evolution by trying to control every aspect of every situation consciously, and unconsciously.

Let’s backtrack for a second. In the last few months of 2016 I read a couple of life changing articles (here and here) about perfectionism and control and how they go hand in hand, I realized it was time to make a conscious effort to release the need for perfection, therefore allowing me to ease up on trying to control everything. In my mercury retrograde/end of the year reflection, I realized that part of what spurs my need for control and perfection is me being too future focused. It is SO EASY to think about what I want out of life and begin to obsess about it, which makes me try to control the things that are happening in my life now, to ensure that I will create my ideal future. In about the first 7 minutes of this video, I’d gotten the message I needed to ease the urge to live so far into the future. Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with future planning. That isn’t what I was doing, though, I was future obsessing. When you begin to worry, your body responds as if you are in the very situation that you are worried about, it can’t tell the difference between your thoughts and what is happening in real time. My adrenals were all messed up, I existed in fight or flight mode.

Fast forward to today.  I can honestly say, I lived most of January in “Flow” meaning I would realize a need or a desire, ask the Universe to help me manifest or attract whatever was necessary to fulfill that need or desire, and then I moved out of the energy of the question and into the energy of the answer. Meaning, I asked, I claimed it as being done if it would be for my highest good and the highest good of all involved, thanked the universe and waited for it to appear while tending to other things. Before January, I would do the same, but I wouldn’t move out of the energy of the question. I would worry if I asked the question clear enough, I would re-ask, I would obsess, not realizing I was trying to control what I was calling in because I was scared that it wouldn’t be perfect, or that I was going to call in something I actually didn’t want. In January, I practiced dropping that tendency to obsess and control. It’s a work in progress, but it is working. I have concrete proof that it is working:

A) Funds for my move to Houston in May. I wrote in my journal that I wanted a certain amount of money while still being able to afford my day to day. I have my money.

B) More opportunities to speak to people and teach. I asked to be put in situations that would make me more comfortable with being visible. I have two speaking engagements coming up, both academic, but still in alignment with what I believe.

Nothing motivates me more than seeing proof that the work I am constantly engaged in is making a difference. It’s evidenced in the bold moves I’ve been making, the opportunities I’m attracting, and the beautiful relationships that I have cultivated.

So, for February, my mantra is Flow. I started in January, I’m kicking it up a notch this month. When you are truly in the flow you are magnetic. There’s less static keeping the things the Universe has for you waiting in the ethers, unable to manifest in the physical. When you are in the Flow you are holding space for yourself. A beautiful electrifying space of pure potential. In this space, the universe was created. In this space, you can call in all the things that will be of the highest good to you and all involved. This space can be frightening, it is a space of pure trust. You ask, believe, and you will receive. I’m excited about this month. I’m excited to flow. I pray that you join me. Even if it’s just a little flow every now and then, practice makes perfect. I mean, that’s what I’m doing, practicing my flow until it is my only state of being.

Thank you for being here. You are Love and you are Loved.

Peace & Light

Liv

About Me

Hi guys, I don’t think I’ve properly introduced myself so I decided I would! I’m Liv! I originally started this blog as a journal of sorts. Over the years it has morphed into being a a space where I can share what I have learned throughout my life and the experiences therein. It is my intention for this blog to be a healing space. Here are a few facts about me:

I’m an Oklahoma native current Virginia resident

I have a Master of Arts in Counseling from the illustrious Hampton University

I’m an ENFP personality type (Myers Briggs)

Sagittarius Sun, Cancer Moon,  Pisces Rising

I’m deeply empathic and intuitive

I’ve been committed to my conscious journey since 2013

I’m heavily into the occult; astrology, alchemy, metaphysics, tarot, numerology, energy healing, candle magic, etc.

I collect crystals

Love is my religion

I love to cook and entertain (and I’m really good at it!)

I could watch Frasier every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it

I’m super goofy and I crack myself up constantly

I have really amazing people in my tribe that I thank the universe for daily

the people in my life know they can come to me about anything without fear of judgment and that makes me really happy. I love being “muva”

I’m really into learning so I make it a point to learn something new daily (or at least weekly) and I love to read.

START

Start. It seems simple right? Not for me, the recovering perfectionist control freak that has been battling an internal fear or success for a few years now. Yes, a fear of success.

Until very recently, it was hard to see myself having success, without a looming fear of failure, or being seen as an imposter. I have struggled for years with “waiting for the other shoe to drop” and what I’ve found, is that my anticipation of that shoe dropping, caused it to fall many times. In retrospect though, they may not have fallen. I aided in pulling those shoes down. Self sabotage.

Self sabotage kept me from starting, and committing. Putting too much pressure on myself to be and do everything other than Just Being, kept me from starting. Not fully trusting myself, kept me from starting. Wanting all the perfect conditions, kept me from starting. Fear of making  mistakes, kept me from starting. Wanting to control the outcome, kept me from starting. Wanting to be on step 50 without taking steps 2-49, kept me from starting. Ultimately, I kept me from starting.

The ending of 2016, this past Mercury Retrograde cycle, and a beautiful reiki session facilitated by my best friend (fertilealchemy.com) showed me that the time is now to release the habit of self sabotage. It is time to relinquish the fear of my light beaming and shifting the energy in every space I occupy. No more time for playing small. It is time for me to step into my role not only as a healer, but as a teacher and an energetic leader.

I have to do it. I have to do it courageously. I have to do it when my inner critic is louder than everyone else, telling me I can’t do anything right. I have to do it even when its uncomfortable. I have to start even when I don’t see the path clearly. So, I’m doing it. This is my start.

2017 is a 1 year in numerology, it heralds the beginning of a fresh 9 year cycle. Around my birthday in December, I set some intentions for this year and dubbed it my Year of Creativity, meaning I create my life to be exactly what I want and need it to be. I am also opening up space for more creative expression outlets, like blogging. For my starting focus, I am rebuilding and reinforcing my self confidence, ensuring that it is real and deep and impenetrable by anyone or anything that is outside of me. I am loving myself deeper by honoring my truth unapologetically, telling my story without shame, and allowing myself to flow and choose without being attached to outcome. I have been on my self-healing journey faithfully since 2013. The focus of my work being loving myself into healing, parenting myself, and  nurturing myself. Its work that I will always do, no matter how dark it gets. I do not run from my shadow, I embrace her, we are one. In doing this work, I have shifted and released major karmic baggage. I’ve cancelled and revoked many karmic contracts that I agreed to consciously and unconsciously. This journey is a grass roots endeavor. I’ve been healing me one step at a time from the ground up. Figuring out what works and what doesn’t work. What I like and what I don’t like. Loving myself, having confidence in myself, and being able to be by myself were not automatic. These things took time, and patience, and meeting the same blocks at different levels from different perspectives. I never gave up. I never give up. Resilience is my saving grace.

Going through this alchemical energetic process has equipped me with  first hand experiences and knowledge that I feel will be beneficial for many as Gaia continues to ascend, because as she raises her vibration, we must raise our own. I take many of my cues from nature and believe in the saying “as above, so below” and currently (from about 1/8-2/6) all planets are stationed direct, moving forward. Like the planets, I too am moving forward. This space isn’t for me to tell you what to do. Its to tell you what I do, and to inspire you to take action in your own life. Whatever that looks like to you.

I’m from the school of “each one teach one” I plan to use this space to share what I’ve learned thus far, and what I continue to learn. I am ever evolving, changing and shifting as I see fit. I am not fixed, I am fluid, I am water. (literally more than half of my chart is water).  I’ll never tell you the work is easy. Getting to the bottom of, and shifting your unconscious beliefs, just isn’t. It can be done though. I’m doing it.

Take Care of You: A Self-Care Guide

(Originally written in 2015)

I was prompted to speak on this topic after several days of sadness. The sadness wasn’t overwhelming, it was very subtle. Me being me, I started to question where the feelings were coming from because they didn’t feel like mine. I know me. As I took the time to follow the feelings, I realized most of them were in fact coming from outside sources. As an empath (a highly sensitive being that can feel and sometimes absorb, the energy of the people, places, and things in its environment) I have to be very careful about the things I subject myself to. Everything is energy so it is very easy to get caught up in the undertow of low vibrating frequencies such as fear, hate, and sadness. ESPECIALLY when thats all you see around you! I figured if I’m feeling it, others probably are too. So, I want to help by letting you know how I keep my vibe high, especially during trying times.

Monitoring your intake: I don’t watch traditional news often. It can be very triggering and fear mongering, and it is very unhealthy in large amounts. Unfollow negative people. Stop talking to people that only gossip, complain, or have a generally pessimistic view of life. Everything is energy, be conscious of the energy you take in.

Read/Research: Google is my best friend any time I have a question I type it into google and I come across one thing that will lead me to another, then another, and then another.  All that I know, is that I don’t know much so I strive every day to learn something new whether it be from google, youtube, books, or tuning in to Spirit to see what lessons they have for me. Knowledge is Power. No one can take that from you. Remember, no matter what you read you DO NOT have to take it all as truth, only take what resonates with you. Everything isn’t for you and thats okay. Know yourself.

Conscious Breathing: By focusing on my breath I am able to center myself, especially at times when I feel confused, upset, or at a loss for words. We take breathing for granted a lot of times, and because we aren’t thinking about our breaths our brains and bodies aren’t getting the optimal amount of oxygen. This can contribute to our stress levels among other things. Practice breathing by imagining the breath coming up through your feet and out of the top of your head. Another trick is to breathe in and fill your belly up, and to push the air out with a sigh, making your stomach go flat.

Drink Water: Water is Life. You can even charge your water with crystals, love and good intentions if you need a quick pick me up. Water is easily programmed, (we are like 60% water so we too, are easily programmed by the energy around us.)

Baths: Baths have become an essential part of my self-care. I throw my favorite crystals (the ones that are safe to be put in water) in the tub, start the water and charge my bath with loving intentions. Doing this in the morning helps prepare me for the day and at night it helps wash off the day and any energies I may be holding that aren’t mine. WATER IS LIFE.

Grounding: I get out into nature and I take my shoes off and plant them in the ground, and I sit and listen and watch nature. I learn a lot from nature, everything  happens as its supposed to without being prompted by anyone or anything. That reminds me to Just Be which can be very hard because I am a recovering control freak.

Meditation: I take the time to get still and clear my mind of incessant thoughts. If you’re a beginner, don’t worry so much about the thoughts disappearing, just make sure you’re letting the thoughts come and go without identifying with and attaching to them. It took me a couple of years to be able to meditate on my own with a clear mind. Up until that point I would use guided meditations on Youtube, or, I’d be in a meditative state with thoughts floating though my head. I just watched them and let them pass. Sometimes even verbally saying “No thank you” to the thoughts.

Listening to my Intuition:  I find that when I heed my inner pullings and that tiny voice inside, it is easier to be happy because I am in the flow of the universe, magnitizong all things for my highest good.

Crystal Healing: Very early on into my spiritual journey I was introduced to healing stones.. not quite sure how, probably Tumblr, anyway, I purchased a Shiva Lingam because I was hell bent on reuniting with an ex and Shiva stones promote the union of Yin and Yang (female and male) energies. When I held the stone it began to vibrate in my hand, I thought I was losing it so I put it in the other hand, same effect… still skeptical I loosened my grip on it, it was still vibrating in my hand. From there my love affair with crystals began. Healing stones come directly from the Earth and are programed with nature’s energy. Nature is the oldest and one of the most powerful forces. Everything comes from nature one way or another. I find my crystals by either googling things like “healing stones for depression” or “healing stones for insomnia” etc. I also get put on to a lot of crystals by some of the people I follow on Instagram. I like to go into my local magick shop and  look at the selection of stones and let them choose me. I choose the ones that call out to me without even knowing their healing properties, then when I get home and look them up the stone is ALWAYS just what I need at the time. Good starter stones are Amethyst, Clear Quartz, and Rose Quartz. All stones with very palpable energy.

Self Pleasure: Yep thats what I mean. Masturbate. Sexual energy is the most powerful creative energy around. Get to know yourself and your orgasm. I’ve transitioned from traditional sex toys to healing ones that are non toxic. You can find some great healing wands at chakrubs.com. I have a white jade one. Just like my other stones this one has a powerful energy.  You can set your intention for your orgasm. You can choose to circulate the energy within your body, allowing it to clear your chakras and boost your vibration. Or, you can intend to use the energy for creative endeavors. Before you begin, set the mood, you owe yourself romance, plus, it’ll increase the intensity of the orgasm. Turn off the lights, light a candle or two and some incense, play some music. Then give yourself a massage with coconut oil, paying attention to how you feel. Taking this time will allow you to really learn what your body likes, then you can teach your partner. Take control of your pleasure. Once you’re ready, begin, and take your time. There is no need to rush your orgasm, be gentle with yourself.  If you want to know more about the power of an orgasm, you should research it. Sacred Sex is real and it is healing.

Florida Water: I dab on this magical cologne and it instantly changes or settles my mood, I also use it to ward off negative energy. I get the Murray & Lanman brand from Amazon.

Essential Oils: Much like healing stones, essential oils have properties that attract certain effects. Like I do with my crystals, I look up oils based on what I’m going through and need help with. The ones I tend to keep on hand are patchouli, frankincense, rose-geranium, tea tree, and rosemary. I use these oils in various combinations to lift my mood, attract desires, and as a natural perfume.

Drink Tea: Tea time is my most favorite time of the day. I get to sit with a huge cup of steaming hot tea in the morning and  in the evening, and in this time I am able to unwind and enjoy about 5-10 minutes of stillness. I love organic loose leaf tea blends.

Mantras: I’ve been aware of mantras since my journey began, but I didn’t begin to put them into regular use until recently. A mantra is a sentence or paragraph of positive/affirming words that you say to yourself throughout the day/every day. Your words do have power, so using them in an empowering way can begin to shift things for you. An all encompassing mantra is: “I Am Love, I Am Enough, I Am Grateful, I Am Healthy. Abundance flows to me and through me with ease. I Am Open to all The Universe has for me in my highest good.” Use this one or create one to suit your personal needs. By using mantra’s you are moving energy in a way that allows The Universe to respond to what you are saying.  Remember believing is seeing, not the other way around.

Lighting Incense/Sage/Palo Santo: The ancient practice of burning these herbs/wood/resins helps clear the energy in your space, ridding it of stagnant and negative energy. I get most of these products from Amazon

Astrology: Astrology is important to me. The stars align in a way that affects the energy on earth and therefore affects the energy of human beings. If you’re skeptical read Astrology by Osho. A lot of what you see in mainstream media is junk astrology. Essential astrology involves getting your natal chart done so that you can look at where the planets were positioned at your exact time of birth, this astrology is catered specifically to you.

Awareness: I stay as present in each moment as I can. Practicing awareness enables me to understand myself and what I need. It helps me to pinpoint emotions that feel foreign and work on finding out where they may have come from, and then release them. Being aware allows me to not be fooled by a lot of things. Im able to see through everything because I am actively participating in my life, Im not just taking things at face value.

RADICAL SELF CARE: All of the above mentioned are part of this. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You owe it to yourself to be the best you, you can be. Rest, read, play, laugh, cry, share love, be love, make love, paint, dance, sing, whatever you do just take care of yourself. Rid your space of people, places, and things that do not grow you or grow with you. Let go of baggage that it not yours. Evolve, remove yourself from patterns that are no longer serving you. PACK LIGHT. This journey is hilly and you can’t move up hill very gracefully carrying years and lifetimes worth of baggage. Practice letting go of it, its much easier to be happy that way. Here’s another mantra my best friend and I came up with that can help you with letting go. “As I let go, I surrender to the flow of The Universe” Letting go is a lifetime process. Move courageously and with determination. Love on You. You deserve it I promise. We need you, and we need you healthy and well. Eat whole foods, exercise, drink tons of water. Do what you think you can’t.

I have a wonderful physical tribe that I lean on, and since we are in the age of technology, I have also built a virtual tribe that I can lean on. People I’ve never met in the physical and some I’ve never even spoken to, yet I find myself resonating deeply with them and their messages.

1. Bri Braggs: @fertilealchemy & @fertilapothocary on Instagram, fertilealchemy.com

2.Hasnaa At-Tahuidi: @vibrationalmedicine & @resonanceapothecary on Instagram, Hasnaa At-Tauhidi on Youtube

3. Alex Elle: @alexelle, @thebalmco, @loveyourlines on Instagram, anthrsnday.com, alexandraelle on Tumblr

4. House of Vuu: @houseofvuu on Instagram, houseofvuu.com

5. Nancy: @astrologyangelmediums on Instagram and Facebook

6. Mama Ella: samoryshealing@gmail.com, samorysherbs.com, @nutritionalhealing on Instagram

7. Nerissa Irving: @Nerissanefeteri, @neneorganics, @naturotica on Instagram, Nerissa Irving on Youtube

8. Dorian Johnson: thefemmefocus.com, @thefemmefocus on Instagram, thefemmefocus on Youtube

9. Bashar: BasharCommunications on Youtube

10. Mooji: Moojiji on Youtube

11. Alyssa Sharpe: alyssasharpe.com, Alyssa Sharpe on Youtube

12. Osho: osho.com -Osho in Amazon Books

13. Tatianna Tarot: @tatiannatarot on Instagram, tatianna tarot on Youtube

14. Ashley’s Naturals: @ashleysnaturals on Instagram, ashleysnaturals.com

15. Thema Azize Serwa: thewombsauna.com Thema Azize Serwa on YT

16. The Hoodwitch: @thehoodwitch on Instagram, thehoodwitch.com

 

 

 

 

My 10 Steps to fearLESS living!

Originally written in November 2014 for cicelyrue.com

1) Understand what fear is.

You must understand that fear is embedded in every day life. It’s most commonly disguised as safety. Playing it safe is 9/10 giving in to fear, unless it pertains to physical safety in a situation. Don’t let being fearless get you hit by a car or something crazy. You aren’t invincible. Fear usually comes when it’s time to venture into the Unknown. You don’t know what’s out there so you create all the worst case scenarios and then you’re scared. Realize this.

2) Acknowledge the fear.

Don’t ignore the fear. Try to understand the fear. Ask yourself where it’s coming from. I bet you the fear isn’t even yours. It was probably given to you by your parents, friends, society, or religion. For example, think of a time you wanted to do something that you thought was amazing like, traveling to a foreign country and someone said “but it’s so expensive, or but you don’t know the language.” And you sat back and agreed. That person just gave you their fear and you accepted it as your own so now it is yours. You have to acknowledge the fear and find it’s source. Once you do that you can proceed to the next step.

3) Ask yourself is the fear helping or hurting me?

Fear isn’t always a bad thing, we humans have a great intuition and can therefore sense danger and that’s helpful. If the fear is helping you, like telling you a certain situation is not safe, follow the fear and move around. Like I said, don’t let being fearless get you killed on some silly shit. If the fear is keeping you in a comfort zone, it’s hurting you so see the next step.

4) Learn to have faith in yourself and the Universe.
Faith is a skill that you must nurture. We humans love to see and believe when we really have to believe in order to see. Often times fear keeps us in our comfort zone because we don’t know what will happen if we venture outside said comfort zone. (we lack faith) We can’t see into the Unknown so we stay away, we love what we already know and we stay there bc it’s secure. Well guys, nothing magical is born in security. The next step will tell you how to get out of this comfortable place.

5) Let the fear motivate you.

If you understand that the fear is keeping you stagnant, let it motivate you to move past it. Be comfortable with the Unknown. Consider yourself a pioneer, if you don’t know what’s out there, go find out. Be bold! It will either go really well, or it won’t. That’s the way of life. Which brings me to the next step

6) Move through the fear.

THIS IS THE HARDEST AND LONGEST STEP (at first, after a few months this will happen almost automatically) in this step you have to gather up every ounce of courage you have, every iota of faith, and you have to move. Consciously move through the fear, aware of everything in your space that can propel you forward or continue to hold you back. This includes people places and things. Give yourself the opportunity to see if the Unknown will be great or not because it’ll probably be really great and if it’s not you’ll be able to figure out why it isn’t because you’re now practicing conscious awareness. So not easy. Not easy, not quick. But possible. Have faith in yourself and the Universe. You have to know that you will be supported in a move towards growth.

7) BREATHE.

You did it, you made it past that thing you never thought you’d make it through!

8) Say hello to God

God lives outside your comfort zone, success lives outside your comfort zone, REAL life is lived outside your comfort zone.

9) Repeat

Any time you feel fear creep up on you, follow these steps and face that fear, work through that fear, and overcome that fear.

10) Tell your story.

I’m from the school of each one teach one. You learn something that benefits you, I guarantee you someone else will benefit from it too. Let your story inspire someone else to move out of fearFULL living into fearLESS living. If everyone can begin to operate from Love (courage) and not Fear, the world as we know it will change. Help your neighbor. Your neighbor’s wealth will not affect yours. Remember that the flower does not worry about the beauty of the flower next to it, it just blooms or something like that. Don’t keep goodness to yourself. Spread goodness and goodness will return to you ten fold. Hoard goodness and it will rot and turn sour. Don’t be a hater. Be a motivator! (I’m a corn ball).

Im Liv and these are the steps that I take to live a fearLESS life. I’m not a licensed counselor (yet) or any authority on living, besides what I’ve lived myself. I would never offer advice on anything that I haven’t been through. This is what works for me. Fear creeps up on me ALL THE TIME but I run my fear. Fear doesn’t run me. That’s how I’m able to fear less. It’s not that I’m just out here like superwoman or anything. I’m just a Goddess outchea trying to live a bold ass life full of Love! I consciously choose to never be held back by the Unknown, I don’t let the what ifs keep me from doing what I desire to do. I’ve come to realize that I desire to do things that I am in fact supposed to do, so if I want it I go for it sometimes I fall, and that’s okay. You can’t always win, life is about balance. I venture into the Unknown with Love, Light, and Faith and 7/10 I end up on top, and boy does it feel good!! Give it a try the worst that can happen is that you stay exactly where you are now. To all that read this, I love you like God. I’m serious. I mean it. I love you. Peace & Light.